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Okay so in all honesty I have no clue what to write.
Um, um, um, oh! Today I felt depressed. Like, really bad.
Ever since my parents divorced in August, the relationship with my father has gotten worse than it already was. I hardly talk to him, and when I do, it's awkward. Usually the only time he talks to me is on Facebook, and it's about what I want for my birthday. It's always the same answer too. "I don't know." I told him during Christmas that I wanted art supplies. Got like, three sketchbooks. Not complaining or anything, don't get me wrong. According to my family, I'm the only one with "talent" for art. I don't even consider it talent. But maybe I'll see if I can get a Prismacolor Marker set from him. Or maybe even Copics.
Aside from the whole birthday thing, my father and I don't see eye-to-eye. Sadly, the times I talk to him is when my sixteen-year-old sister goes out of control and starts saying nasty things to our mother. Nastier than the things I've been told on Tumblr. Getting off topic again. I know my dad wants to have a better relationship with me. He takes me out to lunch every now-and-then, and he tends to listen to me babble on about whatever goes on in my life. Mostly conventions, cosplaying and whatever. But he never really tells me what goes on in his life. I never knew he had a girlfriend, yet my sister did. I didn't even know he was with three other women before this girlfriend. I heard that from my mother.
I think that's what caused me to get into a depressive state tonight. That, and I had the sudden depression that I felt like an absolute nobody everywhere I go. Real life, or Internet, I am a nobody. I don't know if it's because of my lack in self-confidence, or my shyness.
I broke down in front of my mother today. It wasn't a terrible break down. It only lasted a couple minutes. I was able to cheer up thanks to playing Spades with my boyfriend, roleplaying with this really awesome person I found on Omegle about a week ago, and listening to this Hetalia Character Song on repeat.
I'd also like to say that I really do love my mother. She's really amazing, and she's going through a lot of crap that she doesn't need. Best part is, is that she supports me. A few days ago, she was convincing me to go to an anime convention in March! I'm considering it because LittleKuriboh will be there.
I've been thinking about my drawings again. I've been sketching, but not actually coloring or inking or whatnot. I was drawing a picture to get me excited to write this fanfiction, when I noticed that my sketchlines for humans and animals are strikingly different. Here's this human with all these circles and guides and everything imaginable. Here's this animal with like, three circles and sketch lines that look like chicken scratch. Guess what? The animal looks 100 times better than the human.
Plus, I might change my style. Again. Oh well! Experimenting is fun!
Um, um, um, oh! Today I felt depressed. Like, really bad.
Ever since my parents divorced in August, the relationship with my father has gotten worse than it already was. I hardly talk to him, and when I do, it's awkward. Usually the only time he talks to me is on Facebook, and it's about what I want for my birthday. It's always the same answer too. "I don't know." I told him during Christmas that I wanted art supplies. Got like, three sketchbooks. Not complaining or anything, don't get me wrong. According to my family, I'm the only one with "talent" for art. I don't even consider it talent. But maybe I'll see if I can get a Prismacolor Marker set from him. Or maybe even Copics.
Aside from the whole birthday thing, my father and I don't see eye-to-eye. Sadly, the times I talk to him is when my sixteen-year-old sister goes out of control and starts saying nasty things to our mother. Nastier than the things I've been told on Tumblr. Getting off topic again. I know my dad wants to have a better relationship with me. He takes me out to lunch every now-and-then, and he tends to listen to me babble on about whatever goes on in my life. Mostly conventions, cosplaying and whatever. But he never really tells me what goes on in his life. I never knew he had a girlfriend, yet my sister did. I didn't even know he was with three other women before this girlfriend. I heard that from my mother.
I think that's what caused me to get into a depressive state tonight. That, and I had the sudden depression that I felt like an absolute nobody everywhere I go. Real life, or Internet, I am a nobody. I don't know if it's because of my lack in self-confidence, or my shyness.
I broke down in front of my mother today. It wasn't a terrible break down. It only lasted a couple minutes. I was able to cheer up thanks to playing Spades with my boyfriend, roleplaying with this really awesome person I found on Omegle about a week ago, and listening to this Hetalia Character Song on repeat.
I'd also like to say that I really do love my mother. She's really amazing, and she's going through a lot of crap that she doesn't need. Best part is, is that she supports me. A few days ago, she was convincing me to go to an anime convention in March! I'm considering it because LittleKuriboh will be there.
I've been thinking about my drawings again. I've been sketching, but not actually coloring or inking or whatnot. I was drawing a picture to get me excited to write this fanfiction, when I noticed that my sketchlines for humans and animals are strikingly different. Here's this human with all these circles and guides and everything imaginable. Here's this animal with like, three circles and sketch lines that look like chicken scratch. Guess what? The animal looks 100 times better than the human.
Plus, I might change my style. Again. Oh well! Experimenting is fun!
